I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
