is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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