Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
We got so high we made milksteak
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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