what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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