You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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