you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
