Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
