I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
