The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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