hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
