nut hugger
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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