haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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