I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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