yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
