Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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