Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You ate ashes out of my bong
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
