...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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