If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
