I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
