Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
