I think im going to throw up on grandma
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
