Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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