this beer tastes like vomit already
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
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