ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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