if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
