let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
