**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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