Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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