The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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