It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
