why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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