I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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