if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
