im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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