I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
