i think i have herpe
just one?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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