worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
