STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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