Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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