and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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