You really coming over, don't trick.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
