so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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