She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I got inside last night via doggy door
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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