Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
