I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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