What a fucking waste of an outfit
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
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