So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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