You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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