Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
