I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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