Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
