There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
